MikeGlanzer, Author at FBC

Forgiveness – The Gift You May Still Need to Give

MikeGlanzer on January 18, 2017

The bows and paper have been tossed by now. The clothes that didn’t fit have been returned. Perhaps you are satisfied with all the gifts you gave and received. We hope so. We all love the satisfaction and joy of knowing that the recipient likes what we gave them. But maybe some of us forgot a very important gift. This gift would benefit the recipient in immeasurable ways, while also liberating the giver from increasing bondage, providing vivid testimony to the gospel, and showcasing Christ-like love to the unsaved world. What gift could do all this? It’s the gift of forgiveness.

In his book Unpacking Forgiveness, Chris Brauns helps us understand that forgiveness is not only right (in that it glorifies God by obeying His will), but it is also best. God, as the standard of holiness and goodness, will only require of His people those things which are best for them. Our joy is completely full only when we live in submission to God’s design for our lives. And part of God’s good design for us is forgiveness to those who’ve sinned against us. Forgiveness is not a bitter pill to swallow; it is the doorway to maximum joy and peace.

Our ability to forgive others is a result of God’s forgiveness of us, and our desire to forgive others is based entirely on His forgiveness of us (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13). Brauns highlights three ways in which our forgiveness must mirror God’s forgiveness of all those who’ve been redeemed:

1. Forgiveness is gracious (Eph. 2:8,9; 2:4; I John 4:10).God’s forgiveness toward us is a gift motivated by His love for us (Eph. 2:4). But though this gift is graciously offered to all, this gift wasn’t free: God paid for it with the blood of His Son’s death (I John 4:10). In the same way, our forgiveness of others must be freely offered even though it is costly. There is nothing that we have done or ever could do to receive God’s forgiveness; He graciously offers it because He is gracious. Our offer of forgiveness toward others must not be dependent upon their efforts, their remorse, or anything else we want them to do, feel, or say. And it will be costly. We will need to die to ourselves, our desire for revenge, and our pride.

2. Forgiveness is conditional.God’s forgiveness is graciously offered to all, but it’s only given to those who repent and believe (Acts 20:21). God’s forgiveness is dependent; it is conditional. Like any present, God’s gift of forgiveness in Christ must be accepted, or “opened.” As we graciously offer forgiveness to those who have legitimately wronged us, we pray and plead that they will accept it by humble repentance, just as God pleads with all to accept His forgiveness by repentance. Forgiveness is conditional in that both parties involved must be committed to the new life together. Forgiveness is not possible where humility is not present.

3. Forgiveness is a commitment. When God’s gracious offer of forgiveness (that is motivated by His love and costs the death of His Son) is accepted through repentance and faith, God justifies that person. He commits that He will no longer hold that person’s sin against them. There is a legal transaction that frees that person from the condemnation and punishment that was deserved. When we forgive another individual, we make a similar commitment. We enter into an agreement that, though wrong was done, we will no longer hold that sin against that person. Our forgiveness has freed them from the debt that they had accrued.

And this commitment is not temporary or insignificant. True forgiveness means that we are committing to never bring up the offense again – not to that person, not to another person, not to God, and not to ourselves. This is the commitment that God makes to us in Christ. He commits to remove our sin “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12). What tremendous hope is found in this truth! “If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.” (Psalm 130:3,4)

Of course, forgiveness does not mean that all consequences of wrongdoing are immediately eliminated. Because sin affects others, consequences of sin must sometimes be carried out. And it is in this very process where forgiveness can be most sweetly displayed: Those who are truly repentant and have been forgiven are most ready to accept the consequences of their sin.

Forgiveness frees us from the captivity of revenge. This world tells us that revenge is our right, and that we ought to get even with those who’ve wronged us. But this is in direct contrast to God’s Word. See, in God’s economy, those who forgive others are carrying out the very essence of the gospel. Those who have been forgiven are to be the ones who forgive, and they are to forgive in the very same way they’ve been forgiven. As a result, joy and peace will flood into our lives.

So, what is forgiveness? As author Chris Brauns has said, it is “a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability and to be reconciled to that person, although not all consequences are necessarily eliminated.” If you forgot to give this important gift, consider giving that gift to some family members, coworkers, neighbors, and friends right away this year. You just might be the greatest benefactor of the gift you give another.

If we can be of help to you as you struggle with your hurt, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Take Some Time to Start Right – Some Biblical Advice

MikeGlanzer on January 13, 2017

Bible Advice for a New Year

It is here. A new year is a fresh start. It provides a clean slate to write your story. Here are some biblical ways of doing so to consider as you begin. Of highest importance is knowing for sure you have a vital real relationship with Jesus Christ through the simple plan of the Gospel. If you are unsure of your relationship with God, we would invite you to contact us to talk in person. In the meantime, click here to help understand more about your relationship with God.

Here are 7 practical ways to begin this new year of life in a biblical way.

1. Begin With an Over-all Renewed Commitment to the Priority of God in Your Life

Some things to think about as you consider the place of priority God has held in your life and how you might improve.

· What do I spend my time doing each week? Remember, time is life and life is time. How you spend your time is how you are spending your life. Sure there is time to relax, watch the game

· What do I look forward to doing most in a week? Does your answer have much to do with God or your service to him?

o Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness…(Matthew 6:33)

o If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. (Col 3:1-2)

o Create and pray for the opportunities to serve in ways you enjoy. The way you serve him will be according to the spiritual gifts and opportunities he has given you.

2. Begin with a Renewed Commitment to the Priority of Prayer

It is interesting how large a portion of Sacred Writ is occupied with the subject of prayer, either in furnishing examples, enforcing precepts, or pronouncing promises. We scarcely open the Bible before we read, “Then began men to call upon the name of the Lord;” and just as we are about to close the volume, the “Amen” of an earnest supplication meets our ear. Instances are plentiful. Here we find a wrestling Jacob-there a Daniel who prayed three times a day-and a David who with all his heart called upon his God. On the mountain we see Elias; in the dungeon Paul and Silas. We have multitudes of commands, and myriads of promises. What does this teach us, but the sacred importance and necessity of prayer? – Charles Spurgeon

“God’s acquaintance is not made hurriedly. He does not bestow his gifts on the casual or hasty comer and goer. To be MUCH alone with God is the secret of knowing Him and of having influence with Him.” E.M. Bounds

“We are too busy to pray, and so we are too busy to have power. We have a great deal of activity but we accomplish little; many services but few conversions; much machinery but few results. The power of God is lacking in our lives and in our work. We have not because we ask not. It was a master stroke of the Devil when he got the church and the ministry so generally to lay aside the mighty weapon of prayer/ The Devil is not afraid of machinery, he is only afraid of God, and machinery without prayer is machinery without God. When due to lack of teaching or spiritual insight, we trust in our own diligence and effort to influence the world and the flesh, and work more than pray, the presence and power of God are not seen in our work as we wish.” R. A. Torrey

3. Begin with A Renewed Commitment to the Word of God, The Bible.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. (Col 3:16)

“Sanctify them through Thy Word, Thy Word is Truth.” (John 17:17)

Whatsoever things be TRUE….THINK on these things… (Phil. 4:8)

We ARE what we THINK on a regular basis. Meditate on the Bible every day.

· Read the Word – Don’t get discouraged if you miss a day or a week or a month….

· Listen to the Word preached – take notes, MP3, online sermons…. www.oneplace.com

· Memorize the Word

· Consider it in daily actions – remember that as a Christian it is “written on your heart.” What does that mean to you?

4. Begin Without the Nagging Paralyzing Effect of Fear, Dread and Worry

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. (Isa 41:10)

Therefore, gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ… Peter 1:13

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (2Co 10:5)

Remember:

Great Faith is not an irrational leap. It is a reasonable trust in the revealed truth about God. It is a process of thinking. John MacArthur

Faith is primarily thinking. The trouble with a man of “little faith” is that he doesn’t think. He allows circumstances to beat him up. Faith is not purely mystical. Christian faith is essentially thinking (by the empowerment of the Holy Spirit) on the truths of God’s Word. “Look at the bird, the grass, the lilies, –consider them…think about it and draw your deductions based on logic. Faith is a man determined to think on truth when circumstances tell him not to. Lloyd-Jones

The essence of “little faith” is that a man’s thoughts are controlled by circumstance and not by the man girding up the loins of his mind and bringing them captive to the truth. The man of “little faith” is the man who is not allowing the Spirit to fill him with the truth of the Word of God, but is being filled with his own thoughts of fear, worry and suspicion based on circumstances. He then does not think, but goes round and round in circles. Worry is not “thinking too much” it is not thinking enough about the Biblical truth that you know. It is not letting the Word of Christ “dwell in you richly” and being “filled with the Word of God by the Holy Spirit” Faith is not optimism, wishful thinking, or dreaming. It is a reasoned response to the revealed truth of the Bible with or without emotion. Lloyd-Jones

5. Begin Without Conviction from Sins of the Past Which You Have Confessed and Forsaken.

He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. (Pro 28:13) If you haven’t confessed and forsaken your sin. Do so today. Would you rather have a year of failure or a year of mercy?

6. Begin with A Renewed Commitment to Spiritual Disciplines in the Pursuit of Godliness.

God makes us Godly!!! We “put ourselves in the way.” Remember:

· Discipline brings Freedom to reach your goals

· Discipline is based on principle and commitment -not feeling

· Discipline without direction is drudgery. – Donald Whitney

Examples of areas to develop disciplined routines for godliness.

A great resource for ideas in the book, Spiritual Discipline by Donald Whitney.

· Bible intake

· Service

· Confession to God

· Prayer

· Searching/solitude

· Praise

· Devotions

· Accountability

· Evangelism

7. Begin with The End in Mind.

It may be hard to do, but think about how you want this new year to end next December. What will you want the year to have been like? What do you want to have accomplished, how to you want to be better? Different? This means you’ll need to set and accomplish goals. Here are some ideas on how to do so.

Quick steps to getting where you want to go…

· Review your roles (What roles do you play? Mom, Dad, Employee, Christian, Husband, Wife…?

· Realistic reflection in each area of how you can and should improve.

· Righteous reach forward (God ordained Goals). Set goals for each role.

· Reinvented routine. Determine to change your life’s routines in order to reach your goals.

· Revitalized rigor. Get excited and motivated by envisioning how your life and the lives of those around you will improve as you reach your goals.

If you do not have a church you feel at home in or that teaches the Bible in a truthful practical way, we invite you to visit us some Sunday.

Here is more you may find helpful on our site.

An American Thanksgiving – The Rest of the Story

MikeGlanzer on November 23, 2016

Thanksgiving in America is a wonderful time to celebrate our thankfulness to one another, but ultimately to God for his bountiful and undeserved blessings in our lives. America has a rich heritage of giving gratitude to God. This is certainly a tradition we need to pass down to future generations. Take some time this week to share the story again with your children, grandchildren, family and friends.

A Thanksgiving festival is deeply rooted in American history and even predates the Pilgrims’ celebration at Plymouth. Although the one in 1621 is probably the real beginning of Thanksgiving celebrations in America, David Barton of Wallbuilders explains in the video below how days of thanksgiving in American date as far back as 1541 in Palo Duro Canyon in what would later become the state of Texas. There was another in 1595 in St. Augustine, another in 1598 in El Paso as well as several more. You can watch David Barton explain the history of Thanksgiving below in this article.
The majority of presidents from Washington to Obama have made Thanksgiving Day proclamations pointing to God as our ultimate source of blessing. You can read the presidential proclamation of each president by clicking here.

We have also included a few below in this article.

We encourage you to watch the video from David Barton, but even more so the following video from “The Story of Liberty” website with your family sometime during the Thanksgiving holiday break. It is about 30 minutes long, but well worth your family’s time if you want them to understand the true significance of this national day dedicated to thanking God for his bountiful and undeserved blessings.

Here is just a glimpse of the story told in the video. The story is rooted in William Bradford’s History of Plymouth Plantation pages 242-243 (

Click here for a PDF of the manuscript

) In this narrative, Bradford explains that the Pilgrims had endured a terrible drought for months. We pick up the story there…

Upon which they set a part a solemn day of humiliation, to seek ye Lord by humble & fervent prayer, in this great distress. And he was pleased to give them a gracious & speedy answer, both to their own, & the Indian’s admiration, that lived amongst them. For all y e morning, and greatest part of the day, it was clear weather & very hot, and not a cloud or any sign of rain to be seen, yet toward evening it began to overcast, and shortly after to rain, with such sweet and gentle showers, as gave them cause of rejoicing, & blessing God. It came, without either wind, or thunder, or any violence, and by degree in yet abundance, as that ye earth was thoroughly were and soaked therewith. Which did so apparently revive & quicken ye decayed corn & other fruits, as was wonderful to see, and made ye Indians astonished to behold; and afterwards the Lord sent them such seasonable showers, with interchange of faire warm weather, as, through his blessing, caused a fruitful & liberal harvest, to their no small comfort and rejoicing. For which mercy (in time convenient) they also set apart a day of thanksgiving.

Just amazing, right? These are stories our families need to hear as we consider our own blessings and spend time thanking the Lord.

We also wanted to post some portions of Presidential proclamations from over the years for your understanding of the significance of this day in American history and as a reminder that we are a country with a Christian heritage.

George Washington – WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.”

Abraham Lincoln – The year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God.

Franklin D. Roosevelt – To the end that we may bear more earnest witness to our gratitude to Almighty God, I suggest a nationwide reading of the Holy Scriptures during the period from Thanksgiving Day to Christmas. Let every man of every creed go to his own version of the Scriptures for a renewed and strengthening contact with those eternal truths and majestic principles which have inspired such measure of true greatness as this nation has achieved.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT, President of the United States of America, in consonance with the joint resolution of the Congress approved December 26, 1941, do hereby proclaim Thursday the twenty-third day of November 1944 a day of national thanksgiving and I call upon the people of the United States to observe it by bending every effort to hasten the day of final victory and by offering to God our devout gratitude for His goodness to us and to our men.

Ronald Reagan

– Thanksgiving Day summons every American to pause in the midst of activity, however necessary and valuable, to give simple and humble thanks to God. This gracious gratitude is the “service” of which Washington spoke. It is a service that opens our hearts to one another as members of a single family gathered around the bounteous table of God’s Creation. The images of the Thanksgiving celebrations at America’s earliest settlement—of Pilgrim and Iroquois Confederacy assembled in festive friendship—resonate with even greater power in our own day. People from every race, culture, and creed on the face of the Earth now inhabit this land. Their presence illuminates the basic yearning for freedom, peace, and prosperity that has always been the spirit of the New World.

… The blessings that are ours must be understood as the gift of a loving God Whose greatest gift is healing. Let us join then, with the psalmist of old:
O give thanks to the Lord, call on His name, Make known His deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing praises to Him, Tell of all His wonderful works!
Glory in His holy name; Let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!

Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim Thursday, November 24, 1988, as a National Day of Thanksgiving, and I call upon the citizens of this great Nation to gather together in homes and places of worship on that day of thanks to affirm by their prayers and their gratitude the many blessings God has bestowed upon us.

David Barton from WallBuilders gives more information on the history of Thanksgiving in America. Watch the video here.

We hope you will enjoy this time of celebration with your friends and family.

If you are looking for a church in the Plattsmouth area for you or someone in your extended family, please look over our site. We would enjoy having you visit with us soon.

5 Common Lies That Cause Fear (And the Bible Truths to Defeat Them)

MikeGlanzer on October 24, 2016

In the next few days, emotions can be pulled two different directions. Although we all love Fall because of God’s wonderful displays of nature and beauty. we can often feel a little more fearful that usual because of Halloween. We can be driven to fear from Halloween pranks using “smoke and mirrors.”

In real life, we can often live in fear and anxiety because of the same type of “smoke and mirrors.” Although these tricks really are lies and come from a sinister foe. Jesus said that the devil is a liar—and the father of lies.[1] The devil cannot “make” us do anything, but he is a master deceiver who is very much experienced at making people believe anything that interferes with God’s plan. Jesus Christ, in contrast, is called “the way, the truth, and the life,” and his plan is for each person to experience life “more abundantly.”

Here are five lies that cause us to fear and the Biblical truth that sets people free from those fears if they will believe and trust God’s word.

I can’t

The worst thing about the “I can’t” lie is that it stops us before we start. It fills us with fear as we face our biggest obstacles and challenges. “I can’t overcome alcohol.” “I shouldn’t expect to have a good marriage.” “Everything I touch turns out wrong.” “I’m a failure.” “I can’t follow God.” “I can’t start that business.”

In contrast, God is the creator of potential—and the completer of fulfillment. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” [2] Yes, that verse is specifically about Paul’s learning to handle both plenty and poverty without being distracted from his life’s purpose by either. Still, if God is the great creator, if he knows us, if we will one day be rewarded for what we have done, then we may assume he has a plan for us—something we can do. No, we can’t do everything, but we can do anything he wants us to do. That includes overcoming our sins and failures by his grace and with his help and accomplishing his will for our lives.

Whether it is something people consider to be great or small, God looks on the heart, and the very act of seeking to serve him is a success. And failure is an essential part of success. “ For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity.” [3] The only way to never fail is to never attempt. So don’t be afraid to attempt that which God is leading you to do through prayerful and Biblical wisdom. Don’t fear and believe the lie of “I can’t.”

God won’t

“God won’t help me.” “God won’t forgive me again.” “God won’t hear me.” God won’t love me.” These are real cries of the hurting heart. And God is ready for that: “As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear him. He knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” [4] God is not frustrated at our weaknesses and failing. Ask Peter after his denial of Christ. Ask the woman who was so ashamed that she could not even look up, but washed the feet of Christ with her tears. But he is severe to those who stubbornly persist in rejecting his grace. It’s Okay to be weak, but we must guard our hearts against being willfully and stubbornly resistant of God’s grace. The key differences? Sincerity and repentance. “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart.” [5]

Nobody cares

This is a lie from Satan, “the accuser,” much too close to the first recorded lie. His approach to Eve was that God did not have her best interest at heart. She could have more than God was offering. Although she had known only good, she could know both good and evil. And that experiential knowledge of evil brought pain and misery.

God cares. “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” [6]

And people care. It is natural to retreat from people when we hurt, to hide, to isolate ourselves. It is natural, but it is counterproductive. The healing comes as we choose the supernatural, God’s plan. And God’s plan involves accepting the provisions God has made, including people. That is one function of the church: “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting [encouraging] one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” [7]That may take letting some people inside your life, opening yourself up, sharing your hurts when you just want to hide. But God intends to use his people. Will everyone respond rightly? Maybe not. In fact, probably not. In any group of people, some will let you down, but in a good church, there will be someone with whom you can connect. One function of pastoral leadership is to help people make those connections. If you are in our area, we would like to help. Please feel free to contact us or come for a visit to a service soon. We are here to listen and we care.

I don’t matter

You matter to God. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” [8] You are worth God assuming human flesh, dying on a cross to take the punishment for your sins, and rising again.

You matter, not because of what you can do, not because of who you are, but because of whose you are, if you are a child of God. A loving parent cares for the child, even in the child’s failures. Your own parents are, or were, fallible. But your heavenly father is not.

Yet we know by observation and by scripture that God’s children—and all people—suffer. The “why” behind suffering is a topic of its own, and has been a lifelong passion of Phillip Yancey, who wrote the book Where Is God When It Hurts.” This is a good source for deeper consideration of this topic.

It’s too late

This is a powerful lie of the devil. The feeling of urgency which should prompt us to action becomes his tool to intensify despair and fear. The feeling of guilt which should prompt us to repentance, this the devil uses to make us hide from God because of fear instead.

But what does God say? The mercy of God is “new every morning.” [9] I love Psalm 103:8—“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy—because it begins and ends its description of God with his mercy.

And lost opportunity? True, yesterday cannot come again. But should we throw away today because of that? You might be surprised at how encouraging it is to do something rather than to stagnate in yesterday’s sorrow.

This has all been written for the perspective of a person who has a relationship with God. It’s never too late to start. The first step in truly dealing with fear based on the lies of Satan is to begin a relationship with God. For more about knowing for sure of the forgiveness of God, having a real relationship with him that can bring peace and relief from fear, click here.

[1] John 8:44
[2] Philippians 4:13
[3] Proverbs 24:16
[4] Psalm 103:13-14
[5] Psalm 34:18
[6] Romans 8:32
[7] Hebrews 10:25
[8] John 3:16
[9]

Lamentations 3:23

10 Suggestions to Help Stop the Yelling

MikeGlanzer on September 18, 2016

Have you ever been yelled at as an adult? Maybe it was in traffic or when you accidentally spilled something on the big mean guy in front of you at a ball game. Whatever the situation, how did it make you feel? Did you feel your face get red? Were you embarrassed or angry? After the fact, even hours later, did you feel vengeful or keep thinking of things you could have or should have yelled back at the person? Now, rewind to the last time you yelled at your child. Do you think they feel much differently? Do you think raising your voice or using harsh words helps or hurts the relationship with young people?

The Bible says in Ephesians 4:29-32, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

There is powerful truth in this passage regarding communication in general especially at home, but let’s focus for now on the word “clamor” in verse 21. The word comes from a word that means to croak (as a raven) or scream, that is, shriek, cry (out). This unfortunately describes most every one of us as parents at one time or another in the way we speak to our kids. We lose control because we had a long day, our kids get under our skin, they disobey or disrespect one too many times and instead of responding firmly in love, we respond firmly in anger, clamor and evil speaking. Instead of solving the problem, we makes it worse.

Here are 10 suggestions for dealing with yelling and/or its aftermath.

1. If you’re guilty, make it right. If you know you’ve been wrong in this area, let your child know you were wrong, you feel badly about it and you are going to take steps to correct this issue. This may be difficult, but it will help you and your child. Make sure you also go to the Lord and ask for forgiveness and help as well. He will not only forgive us but strengthen us to overcome our sin. (I John 1:9)

2. In addition to making it right, communicate with your child about the situation. Tell them in a way that fits their age and understanding that you struggle with anger and yelling at times. Let them know you are praying for victory and ask for their help. Let them know what actions on their part can cause you to struggle more. Don’t blame them or make them feel your sin is their fault (it’s not) but communicate that their actions do make a difference.

3. Give advance warning when possible to avoid the yelling. Let your child know that their actions are elevating your emotions in a negative way and that you feel like you’re going to explode. Let them know when possible that you both need to work to defuse the situation immediately. Let them know that you may need to walk away and cool down. Tell them that if you do that, it is your way of preventing a yelling episode.

4. Pray. Ask God right there in the heat of the moment to give you strength to control your words and voice. Step away and cool down if possible.

5. Envision a stage. God sees your actions, but imagine that a group of your peers or co-workers are watching you and your child on a stage. Would your yelling embarrass you in front of them? Perhaps it will help to envision them as being there.

6. Remember you are the parent. Yelling and sparring with words reduces your level of authority and respectability. You are the adult. Remember to act like one. When you yell, it makes it easier for your child to yell back because you seem more like a sibling or peer.

7. Memorize a passage of Scripture together with your child. Agree that it is wrong for both of you to participate in these sins of words and voice. A joint memorizing project will help with accountability and relationship building. Ps. 119:11 says, “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. You can simply “Google” “Bible verses on controlling your words” or “Bible verses on controlling the tongue” for some good suggestions.

8. Have your husband or wife help. Be accountable to someone regarding your words and voice. A husband or wife is perfect. If that doesn’t fit in your particular situation, ask your pastor, pastor’s wife or a close friend to keep tabs on you and ask how you’re doing weekly. Ask them to pray with you about the struggle.

9. Thank the Lord your child is safe and healthy. There have been times I felt myself becoming irritated with my child and feeling like exploding. It helped to envision them sick or hurting and thank the Lord that they were actually ok, safe and well. This filled me with more compassion and thankfulness which helped defuse the anger and tone down the situation.

10. Read a good book on Words. A new book is currently available by Paul Tripp called “War of Words.” You can order it here and watch a short helpful video here.

So is there ever a reason to yell? Sure. Perhaps to get attention, to create urgency or emphasis, but yelling with sinful anger is never good. Like any sin, it always makes things worse.

We would love to help minister to your family at First Baptist Church. We have a very active children’s and teen program and we have seasoned parents who would be happy to be involved with praying for you and listening. Our pastor preaches messages from God’s word, the Bible, in a practical way that applies biblical principles to your life. It is systematic and right from the text of God’s word. Join us.